A Woman Kept Shouting

During a baseball game, a woman kept shouting threats at the umpire. No matter what happened on the field, she constantly yelled, “Kill the umpire!”

This went on for an hour.

“Lady,” a nearby fan finally yelled out, “the umpire hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Hey,” she shouted back, “how would you know that? That’s my husband, not yours!”

History Records that When

History records that when homosexuality is dominate in society it breaks down the family of which every moral society is based upon. Soon lawlessness, depravity and disease is rampant in that society and it collapses from with in and then conquered from without. Joseph- Anthony a son of Jehovah

Rich and Poor

One day a father of a rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family.

When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, “Well, what did you think, son? How was the trip?”

“Very good, Dad!”

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Yeah!”

“And what did you learn?”

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden. They have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden. They have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon.”

As the little boy finished, his father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!”

If I Had to Live My Life Over Again

Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live over would I change anything.

My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.

If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I’d have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten popcorn in the “good” living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.

I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television … and more while watching real life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.

I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for a day.

I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical/wouldn’t show soil/ guaranteed to last a lifetime.

When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more I love yous … more I’m sorrys … more I’m listenings … but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it … look at it and really see it … try it on … live it … exhaust it … and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.”

― Erma Bombeck, Eat Less Cottage Cheese and More Ice Cream: Thoughts on Life from Erma Bombeck

But For You.

Not about you but for you. Jehovah cares for us as good parents care for their children. Joseph a son of Jehovah

We Keep the Ten Commandments.

Pa and Ma were at church, and as they were leaving the minister said, “Pa, I wish we’d see you here more than twice a year!”

Pa said, “Ya, I know, but at least we keep the ten commandments.”

The minister said, “Well, that’s good you keep the ten commandments.”

And Pa said, “Ya, Ma keeps six of ’em and I keep the other four…

The four I keep is :

to agree that ma is always right.

I agree that everything is my fault because I am a man.

Ma will receive her breakfast in bed at 7 a.m. sharp.

And finally, Ma’s soap operas take precedence over my football games on TV.”

Be Imitators of God

“Be imitators of God” (Ephesians 5:1).

Those words are startling, upsetting, impossible. It is “the ultimate ideal.”

“Be imitators of God.” There can be no higher standard than that. The apostle Paul boldly tells us if we are to be like God we must imitate Him.

How it is possible for us depraved sinners to possibly imitate the sovereign LORD of the universe?

Once we get over the initial shock we realize that as children we are to imitate our parents. We should behave like them assuming they are godly role models.

Since we were born into God’s family as His legitimate children when we repented and placed our faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior, we therefore should be an imitation of God (John 1:12-13).

Let it be clearly stated that “imitating God” has nothing to do with trying to merit eternal life. It has to do with our sanctification. We are to grow in godliness. The supreme example of this idea of imitating God is in the life of Jesus Christ.

The apostle Paul used the word mimetai from which we get our English word to “mimic.” The idea is to copy closely, to repeat another person’s speech, actions, behavior and mannerisms. Paul is saying get to know your heavenly Father so you can echo His speech and behave the way He behaves.

How do we “imitate” our Father? We know that the apostle is not telling us to try to imitate God’s sovereignty. He alone is and ever will be self-existent and self-efficient. That is absolutely beyond our means. He alone is eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, etc. Those are non-communicable attributes of God. He alone is God.

We are “to be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Eph. 5:1). Not childish attitudes and behavior, but as His children.

Ephesians 5:2 explains how the believer is to imitate God. We are to “walk in love.”

Jesus sacrificed His life for us. As the Good Shepherd He gave His life for the sheep (John 10:11, 15). Jesus “gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God, and our Father” (Galatians 1:4).

God took our sin seriously and He dealt with it fully in the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. On the basis of that death God chose to forgive you and me (1 John 4:10; Rom. 5:8; Gal. 2:20; John 15:13; 3:16).

Christ “gave Himself up” for you and me. He surrendered Himself to death by execution for our crimes against God. He died in our stead, i.e. in our place. That is how great His love is for us.

Christians can imitate God by loving others, even to the point of death if necessary (1 John 3:16).

“We are to walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (Ephesians 5:2).

“Walk in love” is a constant ordering your behavior within the sphere of love. The child of God is to order his behavior within the sphere of this divine, supernatural love produced in his heart by the Holy Spirit. After a while it becomes a good habit, and we be become more and more like our heavenly Father.

Let’s be careful to note the context of the admonition. A couple of verses earlier he wrote, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (4:30). How do you grieve Him? The next verse says by bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice (v. 31). Let’s put it away from us because it causes pain, grief, and distress to the Holy Spirit of God.

We can please Him by being “kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you . . .” (4:32-5:2).

How do you please Him, rather than causing Him grief? Act the way He acts; behave the way your Father in heaven behaves; “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore, be imitators of God . . .”

How did our heavenly Father treat us? He dealt with us in kindness, compassion, forgiving. Praise God that He has not dealt with us with what we deserved. In grace He has chosen to love us and forgive us of every sin. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us of all our sins. That is love. That is how God treats us.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children . . .” Act like the Father. Love like the Father. Forgive like the Father. Be kind to one another like the Father. “Just as God in Christ has forgiven you.” “Walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us.”

And You Thought Your Family was Weird.

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father’s wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up-daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter’s son.

My wife is now my mother’s mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She’s my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!