You Know You Are

You know you are old if these describe you: You’re asleep but others worry that you’re dead.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

The only reason you’re awake at 4 A. M. is to go pee for the fourth time during the night.

The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

8 a.m. is your idea of “sleeping in.”

People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: “Did I wake you?”

Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

You have to pee so bad you think you are going to go cross eyed. When you finally get to the toilet all that comes out is a tinkle. When you put it back in your pants the rest comes out like a slow river that cannot be stopped. Repeat every hour on the hour except bed time when it is every other hour.

Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

You forget what you went shopping for so you make a list. The next time you go shopping you forget the list at home.

You need the leaf blower to blow out your birthday candles.

Someone breaks wind and you don’t laugh. You hope for their sake it is not a wet fart.

When you talk about “good grass”, you’re referring to someone’s lawn and wonder why the fool kids keep on talking about smoking it.

Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

Your ears are hairier than the top of your head.

Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

Good sex is something you can only dream of because your love soldier cannot stand at attention anymore

You know you are alive when you wake up because dead folks do not feel pain all over their body

And finally, every day, you are looking forward to going to your Heavenly home more and more because life here on this planet is getting too crazy for you.

My question is: what idiot thought up the saying: your elder years are your best years?

It Has not Crept Up.

 

 Do not cast me off nor send me away in the time of old age;do not abandon me when my strength fails and I am weak. Psalm 71:9 The Holy Bible Amplified Version

Have you ever heard the old saying: “Old age has crept up on me.”

It has not crept up on me. It has come with numerous calling cards. I was reflecting upon this recently. I still go for long walks but now find there is a need for frequent stops for rest. Working in the garden all day doing heavy manual chores is a thing of the past. Even volunteering has taught me old age has not come a knocking but is already in my house ( my body). I used to be able to walk all day in the seniors home going from living area to living area. Now my knees will not take it. Working for Habitat for Humanity is challenging. I used to work very vigorously for ten hours straight in very difficult circumstances being a tree planter with no breaks but now there is a need frequent rests while doing things that were a breeze just a few short years ago.

“I thought growing older would take longer.” Unknown

The upside of it of course is the deeper wisdom Jehovah has blessed me with all these years. I love sharing it with the younger ones ( that are willing to listen).

Now there is less confidence in my abilities and complete confidence in Jehovahs unending abilities to take care of me.

There is so much less stress now. Now I can say with complete confidence that I know Jehovah will never desert me nor leave me.

We spend more time walking together and talking together ( no that is no senility it is a very real presence and conversation) which is deeply cherished.

So for all of you old fogies that despair of getting old I say I revel it my aging because it is so sweet, indeed, even Divine.

And, the most cherished of all, is having faith that there really is a heavenly home waiting for me where there is no such thing as an old dilapidated body but an awesome one which will be regenerated by my loving Heavenly Father.

Prayer: Thank you Jehovah Emunah (God is faithful) that You are faithful unto Your Divine vows to care for me in my old age. I exalt You in the name of my Faithful King whom shall greet me to the Heavenly Home He has faithfully promised awaits me upon my departure from this world Jesus Christ. Amen.

May the gentle assurance of Jesus’ sweet love encompass you today and every day.